Ever Felt Lost? [Open]

[Razor]

Never once have I admitted that I could have the possibility of turning someone else into a monster like me. However, thoughts always creep up from the very back of one's mind and are a haunting to many. My thoughts do just that. All the time. Every time. This is why I prefer to be alone. No one can bother me while I am thinking. Plus, I don't have to grow close to anyone. Death is no longer a frightening thought for me. I would accept it, actually, but God knows that it's impossible. Hm. Speaking of the good Lord.. am I still a child of his? It's said that animals don't have spirits; they don't move on to Heaven. As a werewolf, do I still have my soul? Or am I on a straight way to Hell? I don't want to think about it, but I do. Not that I have to. I need not worry about any of that. It's not that I'm going to die anyway. Werewolves don't die. Unless silver, of course. But what were the chances of me running across one hundred percent silver in the wilderness? A lot to a little were my thoughts. Whatever my chances were, I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted to leave this world behind. Perhaps it was time for me to join... a pack. A group. But, what if I ran into normal wolves? Are werewolves bigger than the usual timber wolf? Or are we all the same size? Why am I worried about it? Even as a wolf, I have self esteem issues. Who knew that wolves suffer the same worry of acceptance that humans do? Questions. Here I am again. Asking questions that cannot be answered. Oh fate. How I hate thee.

I was aware of my surroundings to a point. My eyes were trained before me, my ears turning this way and that, listening to the sound of the world around me. I grumbled softly, a warning perhaps, to anyone about that had the slightest idea about coming after me. I was a fighter, not a lover. That was obvious by the way I moved. My muscles twitched under my fur, showing how they were toned from running and hunting. Only a few times have I been in an actual fight with another wolf. A Drappa that was rather annoyed with the fact that I was coming into her territory and speaking with her mate, the Dragga. Here I was again, using formal terms for Alphas in the wolf world. Perhaps I'm not as human-minded as I believed that I was. I shrugged my shoulders at the thought while I walked. My stomach was full. A small rabbit had served as a snack until I found a pack. Though deer were easier to kill than a usual wolf, it was always the weak one. The gimpy and skinny deer was the one that I took down. The only one I bothered to catch. I'm not stupid enough to charge for the buck. I've seen what they do to wolves and people, even.

The sound of ice cracking caused me to bring my head up and let out another warning growl. "Who's there?" My tongue tasted the air for the first time since my hunt a few hours ago. It had something new in it. The air was different. I taste moisture and it wasn't just the snow. After letting my words hang in the air for a moment or two, I realized that it was I who made the sound. Letting my eyes fall from the world above me, I found my paw next to a sheet of ice. Water? Bringing my head down, I dared a sniff at the area of my paw. Carefully reaching out, I attempted to brush aside the snow that rested on yet more ice. Reality hit me, finally. A lake. I was far from the hospital now. I could sense that a few miles back. I had entered wolf territory awhile ago. But still, I didn't realize how vast and how much trouble I could be in by being here. Another fight and I surely could not handle another angry Drappa and her followers. Turning my head, I searched once more for anyone else about. Before I could turn my head away, my eyes caught sight of my tracks. I frowned.

Sitting down, I curled my bushy brown tail around myself and covered my massive paws. I didn't want to whine in caution of attracting unwanted attention. It's true.. I knew that it was. I had known shortly after my first change. I was a monster living in two worlds, not fitting into either one. My only issue was not knowing if anyone out there was like me or not. Did anyone else feel my remorse? Did anyone else feel the isolation? Or perhaps.. Perhaps, was that just me because I would not allow myself to grow close to anyone? I shook my head and mentally scolded myself. This was no time for sorrow or mourning. I didn't need to do it. I didn't want to do it. It wouldn't get me anywhere, so why waste my energy and time? Rising from the sitting place, I shifted my body and shook the snow from my dark fur. I didn't realize at first, but I stood out rather plainly against my surroundings. Even though these trees held brown bark, everything looked, well, gray. Winter had a way of doing that. It drew the color out of everything. It was always as such. That's why spring was always a rough time. Many were becoming accustomed to the color that was beginning to flood the world once more.

I grumbled once more, not liking that I can't focus on anything for a long time. Narrowing my eyes, I looked to the sky. Should I howl? Should I let someone know where I am? Or should I push on and leave all of this behind and continue living my life without anyone at my side? I chose the last option. I didn't need anyone. Making myself trudge forward, I returned to my 'stalking' way of walking. My ears working to listen to everything around me and my eyes focused forward. It must be a strange sight; Seeing a large wolf walking around and looking like they were hunting. However, I guess I wouldn't have to worry about that. I haven't smelt a human scent since I got a mile off the boarder line of wolf territory and human territory. Seems like humans aren't stupid enough to come in here. I chuckled at the thought and pushed on, my eyes twitching this way and that. Finally, I found what I was looking for. A large tree tumbled over and creating a small crawl space just big enough for me to fit in for the night. Looked good to me and I padded towards it, still listening. Still aware.

Anyone out there?[/size]

[Allison ♥]

OOC: You don't have to modify this, it's too good to modify xD. But for future reference the posts are in 3rd person, alright?

[Razor]

ooc: Nuts. Okay.

[Nico]

<sup>Soft, amber eyes glowed dully in the bright morning light. Golden sunlight penetrated the silvery forest, forming golden puddles of sunshine on the snow covered forest floor, puddles which black paws splashed through.

Nico snapped at the air, cursing the new day. Damn sunlight, she thought bitterly. The dark mask of night provided essential concealment. She absolutely detested the thought of being stumbled upon by a fellow wolf, a human or even worse; another human/wolf...mistake. Another monster.

Nico couldn't complain all too much.. Other than the way in which she had been transformed-by force-she had no objections to her partially canine, partially human nature. Nor her appearance in either form.

Nico's silk-soft auburn fur clung loosely to her emaciated form and bones protruded from her carcass accentuating her angular features. Her suspicious glare swept the entirety of the icy forest, ceasing to move sporadically only once she deemed this icy haven stable.

Any and all scents had been masked by the matted snow. Glittering icicles hung precariously from bare tree limbs. Nico shuddered, glad to have fur in this form rather than bare flesh, as she possessed in her human form.

She cleared the thin strip of wooded forest in only several moments, the feminine muscles of her legs rippling gently as she paraded through the forest with ease.

Beyond the forest, only a mile or so away, resided tall, scarlet colored plateaus. Her eyes and thoughts focused on this. The desert-like scenery which would soon be before her contrasting greatly with the frigid winter weather that bit at her aching paws like the sharp mouthed trap of a hunter.

The sun glimmered sharply upon the dusty orange-red rocks which composed the monolithic structure which would soon lay at her paws. Nico imagined a cave-like refuge within the gorges in the canyons which she would momentarily come upon. This would be a perfectly secluded and isolated home for her. A place for her to think peacefully.

But.. Was peace really what she wanted? Did she want to be left alone? Of course not. She wanted a companion. Perhaps even a mate, or better yet, a friend. However, over the past several years, she had convinced herself that she would prefer to be alone.

Her mate, likely mortal, would age, and she would remain timeless. He wouldn't understand her ways anyhow. A friend would grow weary and fatigued where she could run for days. A companion, she may unintentionally inflict pain upon-whether it be mentally, or physically. No, no, no. A companion, of any type, male or female, wolf or human, mate or friend, would not suffice. Eternal solitude was the only answer.

Thoughts running rampant, the absent minded she-wolf hadn't instantaneously realized that she'd wandered into a small clearing; and an inhabited clearing at that.

A soft series of words uttered several yards away caught her attention and Nico's large, round ears swiveled in the direction of the unwelcome noise. The wolf took a menacing step in that direction, her black ruff-which contrasted drastically with the rest of her reddish brown canvas- rose and she bared her teeth. A bloody snarl emitted from deep within her, echoing throughout the clearing.

"Shit," She muttered, cursing herself. The maker of the noise resided several tree-lengths away. It was a medium sized, dark furred wolf, and Nico was positive she could've slunk away undetected had she not overreacted as she did.

She quickly looked around, observing her surroundings with precise detail; A glassy surface rested at her paws; a frozen pond. A fallen, moss consumed tree resided several feet away; the haven of the opposing wolf. A break in the trees several feet to her right; through which she would find herself in the deep of the canyon, at the edge of the plateaus, at the height of her freedom..

The she-wolf sighed and sat, her eyes planted on her paws. She couldn't bear to look at the stranger after she'd embarrassed herself like that. She wasn't fond of company, but she couldn't just leave now.. Nico rocked back on her haunches, sighing coolly. All that was left was to wait.</sup>